As Ryder repeated my prayer word for word, I again realized that everything I do, everything I say, everything that I am..is who I am teaching my little one to be. It's so easy to sit there sometimes and say "yeah I know that!" but how many times do we catch ourselves doing or saying the wrong thing, acting the wrong way, eating bad things (I LOVE chocolate, like so much).
Earlier in the evening, Ryder was messing around with our puppy, Bailey Bear, (see some of Ryder's February posts for her blog debut) and threw a candle holder in her direction. It missed her by an inch and hit the glass table, shattering into tiny little pieces and seeping down into the rug (I walked around barefoot after just in case *thumbs up*).
My first reaction was to say something out of anger like: "how many times did I tell you NOT to play with those? How many times do I have to tell you NOT to throw things at Bailey?"
My blood was boiling and I turned and stared at Ryder as soon as it happened. When I locked eyes with him..the mere look in his eyes regretfully showed me that he already KNEW he had done something very wrong. He knew he messed up and quickly started picking up the pieces saying in a somber voice, "I'm sorry mommy, I'm sorry."
With those words, all of my anger was washed away into pity. How can I condemn him when we all make mistakes?
...But man it was hard. I'm FAR from perfect (no shit) and there are plenty of times when I lose my cool. Like those nights of getting restless sleep and then your child comes in to wake you up at 4:30am just because..'they're hungry, no never mind they want to watch Mickey, but wait, no they're tired and they want to lay on the couch but need covers so you cover them with a throw, then "WHERE ARE MY COVERS??" (right at your feet..they just fell off) just kidding they want to dance and "why can't I just have ONE lollipop before school?! mom! where are you?" (I'm hiding under the covers)' and you have to work the next day! Those nights…those are my favorite.
I'm joking, those are miserable, let's be real here- but we all go through it and somehow we get passed it, because without the hard times we wouldn't appreciate the good times- right?
So, I sent him to his room to think about what he had done and not even 10 minutes later he comes out and apologizes again for the unfortunate circumstance that had occurred Ah ha! My quiet, "mom look" worked! (Feel free to use this one anytime!) Maybe it won't work EVERY time, but it worked tonight so to go along with my blog post, I'm going to say I #nailedit and I'm proud.
In all seriousness, I guess my thoughts revert back to patience…and how we need to try our BEST to be of the utmost POSITIVE influence on our children, because they hold the future in their tiny little hands…and the future is a scary place; so let's help them build strong protective armor against the evil, devilish, ungodly ways; and let's be honest, there is A LOT of the aforementioned going around these days.
Did I mention that your child doesn't have to be the 4 year old kneeling next to you praying? No no no- your children never become "not your children…" I am still a child and YOU are still a child and we all need our parents (Jesus included) to protect us, watch over us, care for us, give us some damn good advice and make sure we stay on the path of righteousness. It's difficult at times, but what other choice do we have?!
Can I get an AMEN?? ..anddddd with that can we get some sleep now?
P.S.- They are watching you!